Wow, it's been half an hour and we still haven't had the traditional "fatalistic kicked puppy" reply.
[edit]
Actually, I'll answer myself.
"It's not FAIR! You're victimising me when all I'm trying to do is bring happiness to the world"
Answer 1: You do it because you want to feel like a big man. Other people's happiness? Like you give a damn...
Answer 2: It's fair, because actions have consequences. In this case, the action of you acting like an arrogant evil tosspot means the consequence of being punished for acting like an arrogant evil tosspot.
Answer 3: In order to succeed, you must be liked or respected. In order to be liked, you have to be likable, and in order to be respected, you have to be respectable. EPIC FAIL!
Answer 4: Quit whining, you've had four more years than you deserved.
Answer 5: All the time I've known you, you've never acted in good faith. You're a weaselly, conniving, dishonest douchbag who gets what he wants by threatening and whining.
Hey, perhaps I should ban myself for being abusive

I'm pretty sure I could pretend to be sad about it, apologise and then build up to abusing you again gradually, all the while pretending just to ask questions.
When did you stop sending death threats to Ziphoid, by the way? Just asking an honest question!
Chris