joke of the week

[Steve B]

The family of potatoes
One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."

"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes.

"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!"

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?"

"I'm marrying a King Edwards!"

"A King Edwards!" replied Mother Potato with pride.

"Oh, a King Edwards is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement."

"And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato.

Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!"

"You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?"

"I'm marrying a Maris Piper!" beamed the middle daughter.

"A Maris Piper!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, a Maris Piper is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make."

"Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

"Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!"

"Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?"

"I'm marrying David Coleman!"

"David Coleman?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"

[Thunderer]

What\'s small and green and has got wheels?

Grass.














The wheels are just to confuse you.

(This works really well in person).

[Thunderer]

A British company is developing computer chips, which play music, for implanting into women’s breasts.

This innovation will once and for all eliminate the common female complaint that men only stare at their breasts and do not listen to them.

[Steve B]

[Vosla]

A British company is developing computer chips, which play music, for implanting into women’s breasts.

This innovation will once and for all eliminate the common female complaint that men only stare at their breasts and do not listen to them.

*Moan!*

[Steve B]

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a Professor of Sports Medicine at Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and bouncing, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.






At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group
of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

[Max Levin]

Mr Özgüö went to the optician one day, who told him this:
-If you're gonna eat eggs, make sure they're very hard-boiled next time.
-Amazing! You could see that in my eyes?! Özgüö asked
-No, I could see that on your tie

[Thunderer]

A man goes to the doctor and the doctor gives his advice:

"You need to take the green pills three times a day, the blue ones twice, the red ones five times, the purple two and the yellow pills 4 times a day".

"Gosh Doc, Is it really that serious?" asks the man clearly alarmed, "What's wrong with me?"

"You need to drink more water".