Ask Sonic!
Sonic,
how the h*ll did this topic come to life ?
how the h*ll did this topic come to life ?
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride'
- Ginger Wench
- Commodore Fan
- Posts: 37
- Joined: 13/09/2005 - 22:31
- Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne
Dear Sonic,
Here are my questions,
1. Why is my car pissing oil all over the floor, when I can't find any leak? I know it's toilet trained!
2. Why does my washing machine keep eating the underwires out of all my favourite bras? Why can't it ruin my awful old ones instead?!
3. Why did Boz move to Sweden??
Thanks and hope you can help
Here are my questions,
1. Why is my car pissing oil all over the floor, when I can't find any leak? I know it's toilet trained!
2. Why does my washing machine keep eating the underwires out of all my favourite bras? Why can't it ruin my awful old ones instead?!
3. Why did Boz move to Sweden??
Thanks and hope you can help
-
- Forum God
- Posts: 5307
- Joined: 22/11/2002 - 12:21
- Location: Dubai. No, not really.
- Contact:
Dear Mr Bowness,
I regret to inform you that Mr Wanderer is temporarily unavailable, however he has delegated me to handle your enquiry.
Having consulted the entire female population of Sweden, the consensus is that your beard makes you look like a perv. Further, the same population think that anything you say in Swedish sounds like a rude insult to their mother's father's aunty, of whom collectively they're very fond.
I hope this answers your questions. Should Mr Wanderer have a different answer, I'm sure it will be forthcoming in the fullness of time.
Yours, on behalf of the United Women of Sweden,
C.Abbott
pp. Mr S. Wanderer
I regret to inform you that Mr Wanderer is temporarily unavailable, however he has delegated me to handle your enquiry.
Having consulted the entire female population of Sweden, the consensus is that your beard makes you look like a perv. Further, the same population think that anything you say in Swedish sounds like a rude insult to their mother's father's aunty, of whom collectively they're very fond.
I hope this answers your questions. Should Mr Wanderer have a different answer, I'm sure it will be forthcoming in the fullness of time.
Yours, on behalf of the United Women of Sweden,
C.Abbott
pp. Mr S. Wanderer
Boz wrote:Dear Auntie Sonic,
Why is it that, when I compliment a girl in Sweden by saying "fina pattar", she gives me a slap round the face?
Last edited by Chris Abbott on 28/02/2006 - 14:33, edited 1 time in total.
Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?
-
- Forum God
- Posts: 5307
- Joined: 22/11/2002 - 12:21
- Location: Dubai. No, not really.
- Contact:
To ease the load from Mr Sonic, I have once again stepped into the breach with my inimitable brand of wit and wisdom.
It's not motor oil. You are obviously hiding an oily pizza in your boot. Remove the offending savory and all should be well.Ginger Wench wrote: 1. Why is my car pissing oil all over the floor, when I can't find any leak?
I know it's toilet trained!
The favourite ones have more natural scent, and thus taste better to the washing machine about town.Ginger Wench wrote: 2. Why does my washing machine keep eating the underwires out of all my favourite bras? Why can't it ruin my awful old ones instead?!
The official explanation seems to be "Broad Banned Girls". When we find out why they were banned, we'll find out why Boz is so attracted to them he had to emigrate.Ginger Wench wrote: 3. Why did Boz move to Sweden??
Hope springs eternal.Ginger Wench wrote: Thanks and hope you can help
Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?
-
- Forum God
- Posts: 5307
- Joined: 22/11/2002 - 12:21
- Location: Dubai. No, not really.
- Contact:
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- Built from Stella and KFC
- Posts: 1399
- Joined: 07/04/2003 - 19:52
- Location: Azeroth
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- Sonic Wanderer
- Forum Celebrity
- Posts: 447
- Joined: 26/11/2002 - 21:56
- Location: Sweden, Vaxjo
- Contact:
Thank you, Mr. Abbott (who is hereby dubbed Honourary Nerd and Co-responsible for answering questions due to starting the circus).
Now, I do have a few additions to put in here.
viewtopic.php?t=3424
3. It was a lot easier than moving Sweden to Boz.
2. Dogs look a bit down most of the time. But they're smiling on the inside. And if you give them your dinner they really look up to you. =)
Sincerely, Dr. S. Wanderer.
Now, I do have a few additions to put in here.
Ask Mr. Abbott, or read this topic:FFRenzy wrote:Sonic,
how the h*ll did this topic come to life ?
viewtopic.php?t=3424
2. You haven't been feeding the poor thing enough vitamins and mineral additions! Just put in a couple of hard-iron nails and 2 open bottles of beer next time you wash, and it'll keep calm for a while, and off your undies. Alternatively check if Boz is hiding in your laundryroom.Ginger Wench wrote:Dear Sonic,
..........
2. Why does my washing machine keep eating the underwires out of all my favourite bras? Why can't it ruin my awful old ones instead?!
3. Why did Boz move to Sweden??
Thanks and hope you can help
3. It was a lot easier than moving Sweden to Boz.
1. None. They'd be too busy imitating samples from IK+ to actually fight.Tonka wrote:Sonic.
1) Who would win in a fight - Chris or Makke?
2) Can dogs look up?
Tonka
2. Dogs look a bit down most of the time. But they're smiling on the inside. And if you give them your dinner they really look up to you. =)
Sincerely, Dr. S. Wanderer.
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- People say I'm crazy. They're probably right. -
-- Sonic - A noise in the corner of your ear... --
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- People say I'm crazy. They're probably right. -
-- Sonic - A noise in the corner of your ear... --
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Mmmmm.....underwires........dan gillgrass wrote:Sure thats the washing machine? /e glances at ChappersGinger Wench wrote: 2. Why does my washing machine keep eating the underwires out of all my favourite bras? Why can't it ruin my awful old ones instead?!
'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death.
I'm very disappointed with that attitude.
I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.'
I'm very disappointed with that attitude.
I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.'
- Vosla
- General Pain In The Forum's Ass
- Posts: 3677
- Joined: 02/12/2002 - 0:12
- Location: On the same little planet as you. Be VERY afraid!
- Contact:
Well, you fell to our little carefully laid out trap! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS THE TREATMENT! Guys, the straight jacket and the Tabasco, please!Armand wrote:I'm glad it's not just me who gets that treatment!
BTW.: Welcome to the boards! You may find it comfortable in here... uhm...
All is lost.